lol a little laugh for the day

A beautiful woman loved growing tomatoes, but couldn't seem to get them to turn red.

One day, while taking a stroll, she came upon a gentleman neighbor who had the most beautiful garden full of huge red tomatoes.

The woman asked the gentlemen, "What do you do to get your tomatoes so red?"

The gentlemen responded, "Well, twice a day I stand in front of my Tomato garden naked in my trench coat and flash them. My tomatoes turn red from blushing so much."

Well, the woman was so impressed; she decided to try doing the same thing to her tomato garden to see if it would work.

So twice a day for two weeks she flashed her garden hoping for the best.

One day the gentleman was passing by and asked the woman, "By the way, How did you make out? Did your tomatoes turn red?"

"No", she replied, "but my cucumbers are enormous."

hey who wouldn't buy it lol
3 aboriginals are sitting at the local shops in Meekathara

The first bloke says to his mate

Young Kev, moved to QLD and bought a horse from a farmer for $100.00.

The farmer agreed to deliver the horse the next day.

The next day he drove up and said,

'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died.

Kev replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said , 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'

Kev said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead horse.'

The farmer asked, 'What ya gonna do with him?

Kev said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead horse!'

Kev said, 'Sure I can Watch me, I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Kev and asked, 'What happened with that dead horse ?'

Kev said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00.'

The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Kev said, 'Just the guy who won, so I gave him his two dollars back.'

Hey Roy, I wonder if Kev would be interested in selling my farm?

Best Aussie Joke Ever (Well my favourite anyway )

Meanwhile In Australia. A little Aussie is sitting in a bar one day when all of the sudden a big burly American comes in as he walks past the Aussie he knocks him to the floor with one blow with that he says to the Aussie that's a judo chop from Korea, the Aussie just gets back onto his chair and continues drinking. 10 minutes later the yank is walking past the Aussie to go to the bathroom when once again he knocks the Aussie to the floor with one blow saying that's a karate chop from china, well with this the Aussie decides he has had enough and leaves the bar. a half a hour later the Aussie returns to the bar to where he see's the yank still drinking and with one blow knocks him to the ground then the Aussie says to the bartender when he wakes up tell him that was a crowbar from bunnings.

TWO WOMEN IN A BAR...funny and clean!




Two women are sitting next to each other at a bar. After a
while, one looks at the other and says, 'I can't help but think,
from listening to ya, that you're from Ireland .'
The other woman responds proudly, 'Aye, I surely am!'

The first one says, 'So am I! And where about in Ireland
are ya from?'

The other woman answers, 'I'm from Dublin , I am.'

The first one responds, 'So, am I!! And what street did ya
live on in Dublin ?'

The other woman says, 'A loovely little area. It was in the
west end. I lived on Warbury Street in the old central part of town.'

The first one says, 'Faith and begorrah, it's a small world.
So did I! So did I! And what school did ya go to?'

The other woman answers, 'Well now, I went to Holy Heart
of Mary, of course.'

The first one gets really excited and says, 'And so did I!
Tell me, what year did you graduate?'

The other woman answers, 'Well, now, let's see.
I graduated in 1964.'

The first woman exclaims, 'The Good Lord must be smiling
down upon us! I can hardly believe our good luck at winding
up in the same pub tonight! Can you believe it? I graduated
from Holy Heart of Mary in 1964 me self!'

About this time, Michael walks into the bar, sits down,
and orders a beer.

Brian, the bartender, walks over to Michael shaking his
head and mutters, 'It's going to be a long night tonight.'

Michael asks, 'Why do you say that, Brian?'

Brian answers, 'The Flanagan twins are drunk again.'