log in
× No matter how large or small the query, we will all benefit by whatever answers come this way.

Topic-icon lol a little laugh for the day

  • spalas
  • spalas's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
3 weeks 4 days ago #16440 by spalas
spalas replied the topic: lol a little laugh for the day
Subject: Fwd: The Aussie Version of God's Creation














THE AUSSIE VERSION OF CREATION

​.


In the beginning God created day and night.
He created day for footy matches,
going to the beach.....
And BBQ's.......

He created night for going prawning,sleeping

and BBQ's,



On the Second Day, God created water....
for surfing, swimming > >
and BBQ's on the beach,


On the Third Day God created the Earth to bring forth plantsto provide malt and yeast for beer
and wood for BBQs,


On the Fourth Day God created animals
and crustaceans for chops, sausages,
steak and prawns for BBQ's


On the Fifth day God created a Bloke to go to the footy, enjoy the beach, drink the beer and eat the meat and prawns at BBQ's, and God saw that it was good.


On the Sixth Day God saw that the Bloke was lonely and needed someone to go to the footy, surf, drink beer, eat and stand around the barbie with.
So God created Mates, and God saw that they were good Blokes.


On the Seventh Day God looked around at the twinkling barbie fires, heard the hiss of opening beer cans and the raucous laughter of all the Blokes. He smelled the aroma of grilled chops and sizzling prawns and
God Saw that it was good .. ...
Well..... Almost good.....


He saw that the Blokes were too tired to clean up and needed a rest.
So God created Sheilas to clean the house, to bear children, to wash, to cook and to clean the Barbie, and then God saw that it was not just good.....
It was Bloody Awesome!

IT WAS AUSTRALIA !!!!!

if its not broken dont try to fix it I can be contacted on 0429160345

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • spalas
  • spalas's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
2 weeks 5 days ago #16441 by spalas
spalas replied the topic: lol a little laugh for the day
Two elderly ladies are sitting on a front porch in Punta Gorda.

One lady turns and asks, 'Do you still get horny?'

The other replies, 'Oh sure I do.'

The first old lady asks, 'What do you do about it?'

The second old lady replies, 'I suck a lifesaver.'

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, 'Who drives you to the beach?'

if its not broken dont try to fix it I can be contacted on 0429160345

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • spalas
  • spalas's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
1 week 3 days ago #16445 by spalas
spalas replied the topic: lol a little laugh for the day
Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for sweetness and kindness to all.
One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.
As he sat facing her old pump organ, the young minister noticed a cut-glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water. In the water
floated, of all things, a condom!
When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat. The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. "Miss Beatrice", he said, "I wonder if you would tell me about this?" pointing to the bowl.
"Oh, yes" she replied, "isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The
directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease. Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter!"
The pastor fainted.

if its not broken dont try to fix it I can be contacted on 0429160345

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • spalas
  • spalas's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
6 days 23 hours ago #16447 by spalas
spalas replied the topic: lol a little laugh for the day
A married guy was having a relationship with his charmful secretary.

A Sunday they went to secretary’s apartment and made love all afternoon.

Exhausted, they fell asleep and woke up at 9 PM.

The man hurriedly dressed and told his mistress to take his sneakers outside and rub them in the grass and dirt.

He put on his sneakers and went home.

‘Where have you been?’ his wife demanded.

‘I don’t want to lie to you,’ he answered,

‘I’m have a relationship with my secretary.We made love all afternoon.’

She looked down at his shoes and said:

‘You are lying asshole!

You’ve been playing soccer!’

if its not broken dont try to fix it I can be contacted on 0429160345

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

  • spalas
  • spalas's Avatar Topic Author
  • Offline
  • Platinum Boarder
  • Platinum Boarder
More
5 days 45 minutes ago #16449 by spalas
spalas replied the topic: lol a little laugh for the day
Three Little Pigs

Three Little Pigs went out to dinner one night.. The waiter came and took their drink order.

'I would like a Sprite,' said the first little piggy.

'I would like a Coke,' said the second little piggy.

'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

The drinks were brought out and the waiter took their orders for dinner

'I want a nice big steak,' said the first piggy..

'I would like the salad plate,' said the second piggy.

'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' said the third little piggy.

The meals were brought out and a while later the waiter approached the table and asked if the piggies would like any dessert.

'I want a banana split,' said the first piggy.

'I want a cheesecake,' said the second piggy.

'I want beer, lots and lots of beer,' exclaimed the third little piggy.

'Pardon me for asking,' said the waiter to the third little piggy,'

But why have you only ordered beer all evening?'

The third piggy says -

'Well, somebody has to go 'Wee, wee, wee, all the way home!

if its not broken dont try to fix it I can be contacted on 0429160345

Please Log in or Create an account to join the conversation.

Time to create page: 0.242 seconds

Advertise with GNA

About GNA

Shop GNA

  • Coming soon
  • Newsletter
  • Coming soon

 

Log in or create an account