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Topic-icon lol a little laugh for the day

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4 years 4 months ago #7367 by spalas
spalas replied the topic: lol a little laugh for the day
a pregnant prostitute was at the doctors for a check up
and the doctor asks do you know who the father is
prostitute replies
do you know which bean in a can of baked beans will make you fart

if its not broken dont try to fix it I can be contacted on 0429160345
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4 years 3 months ago #7449 by spalas
spalas replied the topic: lol a little laugh for the day
An elderly couple had just learned how to send text messages on their cell phones.
The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.

One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to
send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:

"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams.
If you are laughing, send me your smile.
If you are eating, send me a bite.
If you are drinking, send me a sip.
If you are crying, send me your tears.
I love you."

The husband texted back to her: "I'm on the toilet. Please advise

roy and mia (spalas)

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4 years 3 months ago #7514 by spalas
spalas replied the topic: lol a little laugh for the day
Two little old ladies were sitting on a park bench outside the local town hall where a flower show was in progress.
The thin one leaned over and said, "Life is so boring. We never have any fun any more. For $10 I'd take my clothes off and streak through that stupid flower show!"
"You're on!" said the other old lady, holding up a $10 bill.
The first little old lady slowly fumbled her way out of her clothes and, completely naked, streaked (as fast as an old lady can) through the front door of the flower show.
Waiting outside, her friend soon heard a huge commotion inside the hall, followed by loud applause and shrill whistling. The smiling and naked old lady came through the exit door surrounded by a cheering crowd.
"What happened?" asked her waiting friend.
"I won 1st prize as Best Dried Arrangement.

if its not broken dont try to fix it I can be contacted on 0429160345
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4 years 3 months ago #7888 by spalas
spalas replied the topic: lol a little laugh for the day
THE HEART ATTACK

A blonde gets home from
work
early & hears strange noises
... coming from the bedroom.
She
rushes upstairs only to find
her
husband naked lying on the
bed, sweating and panting.
'What's up?' she asks.
'I think I'm having a heart attack,
cries the husband..
The blonde rushes downstairs to grab
the phone, but just
as
she's dialing,
her four-year-old
son
comes up
And says, "Mummy,
Mummy, Aunty
Shirley is hiding in
the wardrobe, and
she has no clothes on"

The blonde slams the phone
down and storms back
upstairs into the bedroom right
past
her husband..
Rips open the wardrobe door
and
sure enough, there is
her sister, totally naked and
cowering
on the floor.
'You rotten B**ch', she screams.
'My husband's
having
a heart attack,
and you're running
around naked,
playing hide and seek
with
the kids!!

if its not broken dont try to fix it I can be contacted on 0429160345
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4 years 3 months ago #7919 by spalas
spalas replied the topic: lol a little laugh for the day
The Importance of a "space"!

A secretary got an expensive pen as a gift from her boss. She sent him a 'Thank you note' by email.

Bosses wife read the email and filed for divorce.
...
The email says:

"Your penis wonderful. I enjoyed using it last night. It has extra ordinary smooth flow, and a firm stroke.
Initially its tip had to be licked to bring it to working order.
I loved its perfect size and grip.

Felt like I was in heaven when using it.
I've always desired it and you fulfilled my wish.
Thanks a lot"

Moral:

A "space" is an essential part in English.

if its not broken dont try to fix it I can be contacted on 0429160345
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4 years 3 months ago #7920 by sands
sands replied the topic: lol a little laugh for the day
A blonde is going for a bush walk .
She comes to a river , and across the river is another blonde , sitting under the shade of a beautiful gum tree , on some beautiful green grass , surrounded by wild flowers in full bloom .
The first blonde calls out to the other blonde , " how do I get to the other side " ?
The blonde on the other side looks across at her with a strange look on her face and says " but . . . . . but . . . . . you ARE on the other side " .



Yeah , sorry . :blink:

Last night as I was on the stair
I saw a man that wasn't there
He wasn't there again today
I wish he'd bloody go away.
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